From Day 1 to Day 675 and Counting

Looking at it in days might not seem like much, but trust me, we've felt the {almost} 2 years pass by. On our wedding night, when we first started trying, we never thought we would still be longing to be parents ..

Yet, here we are, 675 days later and not much progress made. Since day 1, we've been through quite a bit.

A few months into it, I went to a new OB/GYN at a birthing center, hoping to start this journey with a doctor that would be in lined with what I hoped to be my birthing experience. I mentioned the symptoms I had around my periods. She suggested PCOS or Endometriosis, but asked us to continue trying for 6 months before coming back to explore potential issues.

I left a little underwhelmed by that recommendation.

Sure enough every months that followed I would get a stabbing reminder that something was wrong with my body. Stabbing pains around my bladder and ovary would hit me as soon as I would try to run on the treadmill, accompanied by cramps for several days, diarrhea...

All this to say that every months, my body would remind me that something was just not right. It just could not be normal.

I looked online for a healthcare professional specialized in Pelvic Pain. I found a center, quite a few miles away from home (20 miles to be exact) but the doctor had shared a video on their website talking about healing through food first before considering surgery and I knew right there and then that she was the one for me!

Fast forward a few months later, I was scheduled for a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy just a year after we had started Trying To Conceive.

The laparoscopy consists in 3 incisions on the abdomen allowing for exploration of the abdomen, pelvis and ovaries. It's also the only way, as of today, to diagnose endometriosis.

The hysteroscopy is done through the vagina and aims to explore the inside of the uterus (welcome to the world of fertility....)

The surgery went well. I recovered like a champ but wasn't too thrilled with the findings:

• Endometriosis stage 1 (I guess that was the good news)

• Only one ovary which resulted in removing the left tube that was useless but most of all blocked and a potential for infection or worse.

• They also found and removed major adhesion on my bladder due to the endo cells.

• Polyps on cervix

So I guess you could say it was a good thing that we had the surgery.

The months that followed, my doctor made me do a few other test as she was suspecting Ehlers Danlos (lets not get into this... bad memories).

Early December, we were FINALLY cleared to proceed with fertility treatments!!

We were advised to go straight to IVF, but were not mentally ready for it.

So we did a cycle of IUI.

It went well. I felt pretty good the whole time and my body was reacting very well to the super low dosage of meds I was under.

The insemination was scheduled for December 31st and I thought it was a sign that we would leave infertility heartbreaks in 2017 and start the year fresh.

Surprisingly, I did pretty well during the dreaded 2 Week Wait. Probably because I could feel a few pinches here and there and took it as our baby (ies) manifesting their presence.

I was right as our Beta test came back POSITIVE!

We just couldn't believe it.

It felt surreal.

Three days letter I went back for an other blood work to check that my HCG levels had increased (preferably doubled).

That's when I learned what "Chemical Pregnancy" meant.

Basically, an egg fertilized, but that fertilized egg had some kind of chromosome abnormalities making it nonviable.

It was cruel.

I'm thankful that we didn't have time to get attached to the baby or even feel pregnant, but nevertheless, it was cruel.

We did an other round of IUI that was unsuccessful and then took a break, went on vacation, changed insurance... and here we are. Ready and eager to start an IVF cycle.

What's your story?

How long have you been trying for?

More importantly, how are you feeling and do you still have the strength to push through?